Four years ago today, the life I knew crumbled around me when I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. Up was down, left was right, and all that was right in my life suddenly felt very wrong. Fear consumed me. How is this going to affect the rest of my life? What will people think of me? Who do I tell? Who don’t I tell? Who will want date/marry me and essentially inherit the worst parts of this disease? Will I be walking in 1, 5, 10 years? Will I be able to care for my hypothetical future kids? Will this kill me? If so, when? What am I doing with my life?

Four year later, these questions/fears are still ever present in my mind, and will likely be there forever in some capacity. What I find most challenging is the uncertainty of knowing when and how the disease will manifest itself. I am not naïve to the point that I don’t think it will happen. I know it will. Maybe tomorrow, maybe in a week, month, decade. Until the day that it debilitates me, I plan on living like tomorrow could be that day. Despite all of the fears and uncertainty that came with the disease, I truly consider it to be a blessing. Without the diagnosis, I would likely not be where I am today; preparing to embark on an indefinite journey through Central and South America.